Stories of our Earth journeys 1999-2000

France, Poland and Germany
Shifting the Matrix of Duality

With this strong link to her consciousness firmly in place, we could then move on to the next task and the next trip, working directly with the matrix of duality that was yet firmly entrenched in our collective consciousness. We were to begin in Southern France to recover an aspect of the Mother which had been severed from memory in an earlier time, then travel to Auschwitz near Krakow, Poland, and be open to other stops as well. The group was small, six all together. One woman joined us the week before we left in late April, unsure of coming until she arrived at the airport! In hindsight, we could see the wisdom of the number of people that traveled on each trip, and six on this trip just barely squeezed into a van with all of our luggage!

This journey was emotionally demanding. Three of the group went a week early, and three of us flew into Nice, France to meet them. Because we missed a connecting flight due to mechanical problems, the triggering of personal processes began before we even landed! We stayed in Nice for two nights trying to catch up on sleep, while listening for the next place to go.

The original vision had indicated a place in the hills up behind Nice near some caves, and a particular road began to call me to check it out. We loaded into the van with barely an inch of space to spare, and took off. The road led to several small villages, and when we reached Tourettes-sur-Loup we stopped. It felt very good there. However, no rooms were open in the few hotels to be found and we were sent back down the road. The first place was an old converted monastery and felt very cold and constricting. They told us of a B&B Pension and after several missed turns, it was discovered down in the valley beneath a deep gorge in which were several large very old caves. Perfect! The pension was run by two elderly unmarried sisters who had inherited the place and turned it into a B&B. Surrounded by lovely gardens and a view of Bar-sur-Loup and the gorge, it was very supportive of our first task; opening to recover an ancient aspect of the feminine that had gone underground so long ago that its hiding place had been lost in memory.

Those who choose to participate in these trips are consciously acting as surrogates on behalf of the whole; what we shift in the group processes initiates a domino effect within the whole of consciousness. Our first process went deep into the collective Root Chakra, unlocking a torque or twist in the channel between our consciousness and the Earth. That twist was the result of the wound felt by the Earth Mother and her human children during the initial and subsequent waves of violence and war that severed humanity's trust in the Mother. The Mother went deep inside herself (the cave) as she turned within to heal and to gestate a new quality of consciousness to be birthed in a later time. The loss of connection allowed a certain anti-life aspect of consciousness to insert itself in the collective Root and twist it so Life would no longer be sourced directly from the Earth. That insertion is still unwinding and coming to consciousness in our individual lives and healing processes.

The wounded mother aspect of consciousness, pushed deep into the unconscious, began to act out as either unable to bond thus replicating abandonment, or becoming overly attached and smothering, not allowing the child to evolve individuality or learn to trust their own inner wisdom. With the twist in the Root Chakra, humanity began to source itself more laterally, taking from the Earth and each other, competing for scarce land or resources, attaching to and possessing each other and material things, and forming co-dependent, needy-needed relationships. Gradually much of humanity forgot, then feared and named evil the original relationship with the Earth, completely losing that childlike trust in the wisdom, goodness, and bountiful life nurturance of a living loving planetary Mother. Only the diminishing numbers of indigenous people with their unwritten storylines held it in consciousness until the memory could be restored.

We planted the grid in a cave-like structure in the roots of an old tree stump. The centerpiece was a lovely pink fluorite that emanated Mother Love, and we connected it with the grid in Guatemala and at home. It was hard to leave the peaceful natural beauty, the unusual quality of light that French artists have painted for centuries, the delightful artist community of Tourettes, and of course, the food! But we left relatively on schedule on our overland journey to Krakow, Poland and Auschswitz.

So, with Chris as our primary chauffeur, we traversed through northern Italy, into and through the Swiss Alps, then across Germany. Since we had no reservations, each night we had to listen for where to be led to stay. Several people became known as "the finders". Since duality was our teacher, such situations lent themselves to further triggering for our process of discovery. This processing heated up in Germany and we began to play out in the group the distortion we had uncovered in France; the over-caretaking mother aspect not trusting the child to be mature enough to make decisions apart from her guidance. The unconscious patterns were being triggered to consciousness, and we worked within the field of Love to lift them through the personal experience into awareness within the Whole. Since we were learning to identify aspects of duality that were represented in the personal triggers, we could then sit with them without judgment and allow them to shift, opening the possibility of allowing us to see where the "two" met in a third place of awareness creating an entirely different perspective and experience.

My birthday was spent in the van on our way across Germany into Poland and we landed that night in a beautiful hotel in the city of Opole, Poland situated on an island in the middle of a river. That next morning, our group listening process brought several key awarenesses to the surface and initiated a powerful shift that would carry us through our work in Auschwitz. During our process, the attached mother aspect opened the wound of losing her children before she felt ready to let go. In allowing her to receive the acknowledgment and love she needed to heal, she let go of her attachment and opened to receive the gift of the unique individuality that had evolved during the ages of duality's hold of consciousness. She could see the child as strong enough, mature enough, and wise enough to be trusted again. For the inner child to heal completely, the child needed to know Mother was present, unconditionally loving, acknowledging, accepting, and appreciating that uniqueness, offering support and foundation for life, re-mothering those places that needed another experience of mother to release and open.

As trust reasserted itself between these aspects, the focus turned to the Father/Spirit aspect. That aspect had also been attached in duality ..... to the image of perfection. The Father, wanting his human children to reflect his image perfectly, had manifested in the attachment to perfection with the resulting need to fix, change, control, or manage the child aspect resulting in laws, dogmas, expectations, and conditions of how to be. That attachment had played out in the collective through the German people who interpreted it as trying to create the perfect race. And the mirrored polarity was in the Jewish thoughtform of the "chosen people". The victim stance of the Jewish people and the superiority positioning of the Germans masked the victim within the superiority and the superiority within the victim. These two aspects of consciousness magnetized the distortion into our collective experience and it had been bound in judgment ever since.

As we opened this awareness with no judgment of any of the parts, the lock began to open and spin, freeing the distortion in both the masculine/spirit connection and the feminine/earth connection so the child aspect was free to step beyond duality. That step brings us fully into the new relationships and the matrix of consciousness that is our inheritance where we share our gifts within a new creation. Most of us felt dizzy and disoriented for a time as we breathed through the shift of consciousness and massive amount of energy that was freed with the awareness. We were led to form a human geometric star of two intersecting triangles, the symbol for "as above, so below". Each of us had a specific position and, whenever we moved into formation for the rest of the trip, all we did was breathe together and the consciousness and energy of wherever we were would shift. "Butter melting magic!", as one of our journeyers was fond of saying.

On to Krakow, one of the only cities in Eastern Europe that wasn't bombed during WW II, by agreement of both sides. It has one of Europe's largest remaining Medieval Squares in the center of Old Town which is bustling with young people who attend the nearby University, and is surrounded by restaurants and shops. It was much more alive than most of what we had seen in Poland. The entire western part felt very depressed and gray. Everything; buildings, people's dress, streets, even the hand-tilled countryside, was in varying shades of gray or brown. The fact that they are trying to modernize and build better freeways and roads seems good, but traveling was slow and often stopped completely.

We stayed in a new hotel on the outskirts of the city. It was perfect for the work we were here to do. On the morning we were to go to Auschwitz, we shifted the crystal grid and amped up the power of our human grid formation. We opened to further release from any judgment and practiced standing in neutrality. When we arrived at the parking lot of the camp, we sat in the van for a time, eating snacks and getting a feel of the energy. Auschwitz is the name the Germans gave this place. The Polish town that is still there is called Oswiecim. Most of the locations of the concentration camps were chosen because they were energy vortices on powerful ley lines. It effectively twisted the Earth's energy for life into being used for death. We could feel it while sitting there, and it felt very heavy and oppressive.

Many buses of school children in uniforms were unloading. We followed one group in and went to the film that was made by the Russian troops that liberated the camp in 1944. All of us were able to maintain the neutrality and not slip into any emotional identification. Then we walked around the camp, allowing ourselves to be led. In specific locations like the women's showers, the crematorium, the Death Wall, the place where the camp's commander had been hung, the gas chambers, and a few other places, we spontaneously moved into formation and began to breathe. Energy would spin around us and be transformed. We started feeling increasingly lighter and more joyful as we proceeded, something none of us had anticipated. Our last transformation stop was by the entrance to the camp where the words, "Work Brings Freedom" hung over everyone walking into the camp. That is definitely what the old matrix of duality wants us still to believe so we continue to give our life-force to keep it juiced! That shifted too and we unplugged that thought-form within ourselves and opened into the collective to communicate the shift.

We kept the momentum needed to go to nearby Birkenau, a much larger camp than Auschswitz, sometimes called Auschswitz II. More people probably died here than at the first location. We were immediately led into one of the few remaining buildings, the Quarantine. It had long rows of cement structures with holes evenly spread out in the top. That was the latrine for lines of chained prisoners who had been singled out because of illness, weakness, or other reasons. We moved into formation and for more than 45 minutes stood there while waves of energy came through. First the Mother Principle released its attachment to and lack of trust of her human children. Then the Father Principle released its attachment to humans being the perfect reflection of Himself.

Waves of Light came through us with such intensity that we had to bend our knees to strengthen our stance. There was a reunion of the Mother and Father, Earth and Spirit, within us, the evolved Child that is the fruit of their Love a long time ago. The magnetic polarity between the Germans and the Jewish people unwound and thousands of Jews, Germans, and others yet caught in the astral plane appeared. At first they tried to push us out saying we didn't belong there. When we said that they were the ones who no longer belonged there and the vortex was reopening as a passageway to freedom, they began to leave ....... and leave ........ and leave ....... Waves of release moved through us as we stood there, surrounded by several tour groups of different nationalities who walked through the building and around us. When the waves finished, I felt an impulse to plant a very clear high frequency crystal there and Chris moved a cracked piece of concrete, jumped down onto the bed of the old latrine, and pushed the crystal deep into the dirt. Of course at that moment, we happened to be the only ones in the building! This is not the end of this part of the story. Stay tuned for a later addendum.

It was a very windy day and we walked around the camp to the place where the ashes of thousands of people had been dumped. We offered a blessing for them. While we walked I had a funny image take form in my head. I saw us acting in consciousness like a human Alka Seltzer .......... plop us into an acidic place and we release a "fizz" of energy that clears the condition. So we began singing, "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, Oh what a relief it is!" Somehow that phrase burned its way into our unconscious and would appear unbidden for months to come.

We felt a sense of accomplishment and took the next day to explore Krakow. It is there that I will remember an experience I have come to call a "taste orgasm" with an incredibly delicious lemon meringue pie! It's a lovely place to which most of us want to return with a more relaxed itinerary. Great restaurants, interesting history, great prices, and a friendly atmosphere all contribute to its charm and attraction.

The next morning, I had one of the more powerful experiences of my life. I woke from a dream feeling embraced by the presence of a Mother that knew me so intimately and completely that I felt entirely "met". I knew we were to go to Chestotowa that day to a shrine of the Black Madonna and that I had felt the presence of Mary the Blessed Mother since crossing the border into Poland. But this quality of Mother felt different and more encompassing than either of these aspects. I wept for some time uncontrollably as she touched me, feeling met, known, and cared for in the deepest place that had yet been accessed. I knew she knows every one of us, the uniqueness of our Being and does not see or give power to any illusion or distortion. She has the power to call all of the parts to wholeness and into a new matrix of creation for she is the "Mother of Creation". She revealed herself as the One who called the Earth  Mother to trust that her human children were now evolved enough to release their gift back to her. She also stood with the Creator Father and showed him the illusions and distortions that had manifested as a result of his attachment to a perfect reflection of Light in form. I felt merged into her, individuality present and acknowledged while a universal sense of Love emanated like breath through every cell.

At Chestotowa we discovered we had chosen to visit on a very important feast day of Mary. The chapel of Jasna Gora, the Sanctuary of the Mother of God, where the miraculous painting of the Black Madonna hangs, was filled with pilgrims on their knees, moving in single file around her painting. Walking on your knees hurts, especially on a hard stone floor! But we waited and watched as the painting was unveiled. The Polish people credit her with saving their country from being completely overtaken by the Swedes in 1655. Like other holy places, there are walls lined with crutches, testimonials, and pictures left by those who have experienced healing in this place. I bought a picture of her mysterious face and it is hanging above me as I write this now.

We left Poland driving back through the gray western region. At this point we thought we were done with our task and were heading to Paris with some confusion around flights leaving at different times and from different places. It's difficult to maintain that higher level of frequency and neutrality which saw us through the work in Poland, so our group began to feel less coherent and personality stuff started to come to the surface. We stayed just over the border in Bautzen, Germany. We did some clearing of the astral influences that we had carried with us from our journey into Poland, and kept going the next day as if we were heading to Paris. At one point in the afternoon, Chris missed a turn and then he and Laurie tried to plot a cross-country course to reconnect with the Autobahn. I was in the "center seat" telling stories about all the different kinds of beings that hang out in the astral plane and how to work with and clear them. After passing the same landmark for the third time, I called for a check-in. We became aware that we were very close to Dachau and that we couldn't seem to go further since we had been going in circles for hours. Like a magnet, we were pulled in. The hotel we found ended up being just down the road from the Camp. I was aware that we were being closely watched on the astral plane and that energy was so heavy and thick that either we felt nauseated and sick or sleepy and almost unable to stay awake. I cleared myself with the Violet Ray of Purification and Transmutation and instructed the others how to clear their space.

But the next morning, emotions were raw and we processed at breakfast in the middle of the restaurant, and again while standing at the gate before entering the camp. At one point, I let go of all outcomes regarding the group and their individual choices and so much energy moved that I nearly couldn't walk. At that point, I wasn't fully conscious of what had happened. We went into the museum and immediately realized that, whereas Auschswitz had been a memorial to the victims of the Holocaust by the victims, here we were in a memorial created by the perpetrators. The walls were lined with blown up photographs and articles of the time preceding the events of the war, what elements had let to Hitler's ascent to power, and an explanation of how what happened came to be.

Unlike in Auschwitz, the group scattered, the astral influence being extremely intense. As several of us reached the center of the display where pictures of Germans faced us on one side and images of prisoners in striped pajama-like uniforms looked at us from the other, we reconstructed our "Transformation Formation". As I looked into the other plane, directly in front of me stood a Dark Lord. A Dark Lord is one of the counterparts of the White Brother/Sisterhood only on the other side in terms of duality. I had faced one before and I hadn't been strong enough to stand my ground. Now I felt completely equal. As we stood facing each other, I recognized that I was representing the Light, and he the Dark. I told him I had let go of my hold in the duality which bound us together and that it was his turn so the whole dance of light and dark could shift. He didn't do anything for a time, then he let go. As he did, our group was inserted like a fulcrum into the middle of the collective plane of consciousness. It began to slowly turn about us and then it would stop. Almost like pins in a lock falling into place, something would click, then it would move again. This happened four times, then the whole thing was slowly spinning and beginning to pick up some speed. The higher or super-conscious and the sub or unconscious planes began to come into the middle conscious mind and our collective reality. I was shown how there had been a vast confusion around Light and Dark, and how the Dark had masqueraded as Light and the Light had been named Dark. Those who were bound in this duality had played out this drama to control the conscious mind and the energy of Life. That dance had banished and disenfranchised certain aspects of consciousness, and they too were being called back into the Whole. As the fulcrum in the center we were broadcasting the new matrix of creation, wherein all the parts are to be reorganized within a much more complex structure, just as the Earth herself is doing cellularly.

I asked the group to imagine themselves becoming visible wherever they had felt invisible, stepping into that middle plane of conscious mind reality that had had a hold on the collective consciousness. Here we were, right out in the open again, with hundreds of people streaming around us, opening to becoming visible in every part of life. At this point, I sensed many other souls of people who had also not played by the rules of duality, who had felt unacknowledged, invisible, and unable to share in the booty of that matrix, i.e. money, prestige, power, or material ease, stepping into the middle plane. Together, we are now to bring into visible reality all that we have grown and learned in the time of banishment to the unconscious or higher conscious realms. As this works its way from the etheric to the physical experience, we can expect to be getting more visible, more valued or acknowledged in the world in some way, and having more power to impact areas of reality that previously seemed immovable.

So, finally a sense of completion, It seemed that we had to go back to Tourettes to finish the journey rather than Paris, so we retraced our path back through Switzerland, staying at the same mountain village hotel we had found on the front end. Arriving back in Tourettes, we found rooms in a hotel on the edge of town. After finding a place to eat, we found ourselves in the middle of yet another process! All of us were tired by this time. The trip had been exhausting on a number of levels, but something didn't feel finished. Whenever we precipitated a shift on the greater plane of consciousness we had to work it through in the plane of experience. So we went into the field of Love one more time and worked until the mental hold on consciousness broke open to allow the other awarenesses to enter and make a difference in the kinds of choices that would form the framework of a new creation. This process cracked open the definition of love. If the way we love others is separating, seeing others as less powerful, less resourceful, less influential, less of anything, putting us in the position of savior or helper, it is dualistic. It seemed that we had to get that structure to consciousness before we could leave. It finally happened (about 2:30 in the morning!), we slept, repacked, and said good-bye to one of our hearty travelers as she left for home a few hours later.

Five of us continued on to Paris where three more had to catch an early morning flight home the next day. I drove that day and night on the French Expressway enjoying the freedom of driving 150 kph with drivers who know how to keep the far left lane open for passing (a personal pet peeve!). Chris and I had originally planned to stay several extra days in Paris to check out a past life in which we had remembered being together. As it turned out, we had only one day before our flight home.

Paris: Chris and Michele, Past and Present

I'm going to digress a bit from the larger picture to share a great personal story from that day in Paris. First, you will need some background. About a year after Chris and I connected on a personal level, we were talking late one night. Chris began telling me of a trip to France several years ago. From his hotel room in the Montmartre region of Paris, he could see the comer of a small old cemetery. Something about it attracted him, yet each time he went there, it was closed. I jokingly asked him if he thought he was buried there. He said "no", and all at once, I knew I had been buried there. With a rush of images and feelings so powerful that I couldn't speak for several minutes, I remembered. It seemed to be the previous century, and Chris was married. He and his wife lived in a smaller village not far from Paris and he had taken over his father-in-law's business. I came to work for him, we fell in love and yet, it was clear to me that a relationship would never work. He was too married to the family, business, and community to leave it all for me. I left and went to Paris where I rented a room from a kind older woman and helped her with housework. I worked for the garment industry as a seamstress and modeled jewelry for advertisements. After living this way for several years, I became ill one winter and died of influenza.

It was at this point that Chris began to come to Paris on a regular basis, ostensibly for business, but he would bring flowers to my grave and sit for hours and talk with me, crying, and communing, because now that I was in spirit, it was "safe" to visit me. For whatever reason, this remembrance affected me so deeply so that I would weep everytime I either thought or talked about this time.

So our day in Paris began by finding our way to Montmartre. After breakfast in the square, he led me to the cemetery. This time it was open. We walked around, together at first, and then separately, not exactly sure what we were looking for. Chris began to be aware of a kind of buzz in his body. Whenever he was close to a certain area, it would get stronger. When he walked further away, it weakened. At one point he came and found me, walking me over to the gravestone to which his body "buzz" had led him. As I walked up to it, a wave of emotion washed through me. I burst into tears, then Chris burst into tears, spontaneously recognizing and reconnecting with that past life as we stepped through the boundary that usually keeps them separate. We stood in front of a tall gravestone with a single name of a woman on it, and the years 1863-1900. It had a large berry bush overgrowing the plot so that much of the stone was obscured. Chris disappeared for a time, and returned with a single rose, commemorating the flowers he once had brought me. He remembered buying the stone and paying for the plot after the woman whose home I was living in, one of Chris's former teachers, wrote and told him I had died. We stayed there for more than an hour, dwelling in a sweet blessed moment of union. He was now free, I was alive and in a body, and we were together. We were both aware we were receiving a gift, precious and graced, and it was not to be rushed.

We spent the afternoon going to the top of the Eiffel Tower and I saw all of Paris from there. Then while walking with no particular destination in mind, we found ourselves viewing a memorial to Princess Diana over the tunnel where she had been killed. Waves of energy released as we stood there and it seemed we had been led there to assist the driver of the car to feel enough forgiveness to leave. We flew home the next morning, full and awed by the entire journey.

But this was not quite the end of this story. About five days after arriving home, I became aware of astral "company". Looking more specifically at who was there, we found four people in spirit who had followed the line of energy connecting the crystal we had buried at Berkenau to the grid in our living room. There was a Jewish man giving non-stop lectures about the power of suffering and a woman clinging to him. He was berating a young German soldier who felt crushed by guilt. After we assisted them all to leave, there was one more man who had had nothing to do with WW II. He had been caught in the astral plane after death and was hanging out with the large numbers of others still at the camp. As he left and I unhooked the crystal connection, a large portal of light opened and was to stay open in Eastern Europe to assist in attracting lost souls to release fully to the Light. That clearing would allow Eastern Europe to step more easily into its rightful place in the whole and to heal more quickly from the wounds of the past. I now understood why we had to plant that crystal in the latrine!

The next trip was two and a half months away, yet during that time, Chris and I had to find a house to buy and move. I began sorting and packing while we looked at houses. At first we looked for a place with a yard and trees near water. Yet the search felt difficult, not fun, and we came home each day feeling tired and less than excited. After tuning in, it became clear that we were to keep our living situation as simple as possible and not take on extra upkeep. The next day we found a twinhome in a new development, and I had to swallow another one of my "nevers". I "never" thought I would live in a development where all the houses look the same. Then again I "never" thought I would live downtown anywhere, and I had done that too. Never say never ...... duality seems to set up a magical attraction to what is opposed!

So we moved the middle of July and two weeks later left for Nepal and Tibet (Trip 3),and then Japan and Hawaii (Trip 4), both journeys taking about 5 weeks total. 


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