Seems like the long weekend went by pretty fast with only a small amount of our plans actualized. Michele and I did finally do some needed sorting and cleaning at the building, but we ended up spending more down-time that we thought we would. I sometimes think what I see as a break is seen by my soul as a really good time to do some more transforming work. I’m now ready for a rest from my break. What has been your experience these past few days?
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Chris, this has been true for me as well. Lots of work being done in the “down time”. I’m also finding that even deciding what to eat seems like a big task. Fortunately (?), all my body wants is simple easy food. I think I will go take a nap now, hopefully wake with super powers :)
I am so ready for what ever comes after a rest from resting. : ) For a little over 30 days now, I feel a little ganged up on by all of my different parts. It’s a little hard to describe, but it reminds me of being confined to bed rest as a child when I was ill, or confined to my room when I was grounded, (a clue maybe? ha, ha, grounded- 30 days is a bit extreme!), or the room was in great need of a good cleaning out. I wasn’t allowed out until said cleaning was completed to Mom’s very high standards. All of which I am pretty rebellious of still. Even my wonderful body that has never until now refused to perform any request has decided to be obstinate. I think it has even managed to get hold of a cattle prod and enjoys a good zap a few times an hour. Guess it’s having a little rebellion of it’s own. LOL. Mean while, I am trying desperately to understand what the heck its upset about. What does it want? I am cleaning, cleaning, cleaning and going back and cleaning again. Being very careful to move in ultra slow motion in order to avoid the zap when movement can not be avoided. Holding very still otherwise while trying to imagine all sorts of wonderful bribes to encourage a more friendly relationship like dancing, horseback riding, shoot; just a simple walk in the hills. All that I get in return is the cattle prod effect — a very powerful shock which brings on more rest, holding perfectly still, and another round of searching for those few specks I must have missed while cleaning. Guess my parts are not as ready move on to the next thing as I am…… now where did I put that patience? Ahhh, looky there, I’ve used it all up…..LOL
I totally get the thing about want to/can’t move. I’ve been waking up dizzy for several days now. It really slows me down having to navigate with poor equilibrium. Sometimes it gets better during the day and sometimes it doesn’t. Really quite amazing how much shifting we are doing with so little awareness of what’s happening.
oh, thank you, Chris and others — and far from the first time — for saving my sanity. I guess I just so can’t believe that all this being so tired etc. because of shifting and transforming is still going on, that I keep wondering what’s wrong with me, and why sometimes even the creative work that brings me joy feels like an impossible task, moving through molasses, not to mention … (well: I won’t mention. A number of major challenges in my life at the moment; important not to panic.)
So, reading these posts, instead of banging my head somewhere or yelling “Help!” or wanting to curl up inside a dark womb, I can at least smile. :)
What I notice are clouds…. clouds and the perfect turqoise-ee sky of West Virginia. Skinny clouds, fluffy clouds, gray stormy clouds, that is my downtime…., watching the sky. And I think, this sky – this is how it has been, for millions of years. Found I had to do some work over the weekend, it felt unnatural…. then back to watching clouds again.
Not sure what all the transformatino work is about any more…. i’ve stopped watching it go by. i know its going on, but the story doesn’t seem to matter any more. Its all personal, what’s left of my story, that’s where I am, in a little cubby hole of deep old personal stuff. But….. its not my whole focus – the clouds are.
That, and my dog hanging out on the hillside, lying out in the grass, sitting watching – you guessed it – the clouds go by.
Lisa G
Hi everyone! Chris, thanks for popping this question. My experience has been much of what others have shared here. The pieces are coming together into experiential awareness of 5D living. For those interested, I just wrote about it on my blog link to aurealwilliams.com
Well, I’ve definitely been moving a lot lately but it’s only because I’ve recently found a fitness studio five minutes from my house that I absolutely LOVE! Great energy, some spiritual people/classes, lots of variety, close by and it’s just been FUN! I’m normally a “night owl” yet one morning I was the first one there for a 7:45 AM class, and last night I was in bed sleeping by 9 PM. I even surprised myself. Ha! I am tired out right now though, as this first week I’ve pushed myself hard. Especially with all the energy shifts we are going through. I have to learn to balance thinking in my mind that I’m only 24 years old, with my body telling me “Yeah right, you know I’ve had twice that many years of wear and tear, so cut me some slack, would you?” HA! I’ll find that balance though. I just know that now, in order for me to do something, it HAS to have the element of fun, and ease. I’m not going to trudge in to any place anymore with the attitude of “Well, I paid for this so I better do it.” Nope! Not happening! This place is truly ENJOY!
Well, I definitely hear you on the molasses, Michelle. It has been tough, tough, tough, painful, challenging…Did I sign up for the wrong path? I want Rosanne’s path. I know I need to trust my soul’s wisdom, but my depression and anxiety and mood instability have continued to get worse, so it’s REALLY hard to trust. It is heartbreaking to finally have a good afternoon and feel like myself again, only to sink inexplicably into the depths. Still trying different treatments, processes, etc., still trying to focus on the present and the gifts I can find there, like out in my garden…still here, and that counts for something, right? A friend of mine said I probably have special wiring and special capacities that are not functioning yet under the influence of the old energy. Does that mean I may wake up some morning with super powers? I hope it’s soon.
Hey Sharon….Oh no, we are most definitely on the same Path. I had a very difficult year and a half not too long ago where I told Michele and our Mentor Group that I don’t want to be here and I don’t want to do this anymore. I really was ready to throw in the towel . But we come through those times stronger and wiser than before. And perhaps filled with gratitude? Right now things are good in my life, and I’m savoring it, because I know all too well that another big challenge could surface at any time. Hang in there girl. You’ll sort it out. Remember we are all Pioneers and in this together. *smile*
Thanks, Rosanne. It can definitely be a long haul sometimes, longer than feels bearable at times, and I’m glad to hear you came out of your own dark patch. You have been sparkling lately, it seems! I really appreciate your reminders to trust and that I’m not alone. Deep breath. It’s easy to forget sometimes. One thing that’s been helpful is I’ve been hanging out with Maya in the garden as much as possible. She had a huge impact on me. So I guess I’ll go hang out with her for a while and try to relax. One day at a time.
Thank you for sharing Sharon. Sometimes it simply helps to know someone else is right there with ya girl…. just not brave enough to admit it. : ) We will get through this. Love and light to you.
Thank you to everyone who has written here … My mood has lifted the last few days, and I am so grateful. (I wouldn’t say I’m overflowing with energy … but not being in a dark pit of depression is an enormous relief.) I wonder if part of it is that I simply did the old-fashioned thing: reached out to a friend — after resisting that, as I have generally tended to do in my life. But it occurred to me, that I’ve been doing all this LIghtsmith work, and all the stuff about the feminine and receptivity, and I am convinced that I am “open” to the Earth Mother and all the Friends in Spirit and energies etc. — but, really, I had to stop and say to myself: am I really open, am I really receptive, when I’m not willing to reach out to another human being for solidarity and help?
(There’s a certain irony here, too, in that only a few closest friends know of the Lightsmith work — and I somehow especially resisted letting these people know I was experiencing depression because — well, all this work I’ve been doing is surely making me happy and shining, right? What does it say about it all if it results in depression?)
in any case: that business about asking for help is definitely an “issue” for me, so I guess breaking that barrier helped — and at that particular moment, there was a specific way I could frame my request, which helped, because unfortunately it’s not always so. Sometimes it feels like there simply is no request for help to frame or say, at least not to a human being … (Sharon, by any chance should you ever want to talk more with me, as someone who has also been experiencing the Dark side of the Light work, please feel free to ask Chris for my e-mail or phone number.)
Love to all.
Yes, Stacey, very true. Thanks for the reminder. Michelle, I would love to talk more, because so much of what you’re saying relates to my experience. I have been discovering too the need to open up my social circle/network, like posting here among other things, and it has been really helpful. Depression can be really hard to talk about, anxiety too, and my mercurial ups and downs that elude explanation…but as Chris reminded me recently that just because I’m feeling bad doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong or failing in some way. Another thing that is very good to be reminded of. I am thankful for the opportunity for connection here.
May the winds of change blow gently through your life,
Sharon
Oh my goodness! My daughter reminded me of the Lighsmith group this morning when I mentioned how depressed I’ve been lately. What a relief to read all of these posts! It’s not just me! I’m in northern Minnesota and she also mentioned the quality and quantity of the minerals up here and all of the water I’m surrounded by that can magnify energy. My body just sighed relief….”oh…that’s what’s going on!” I feel 100 pouds lighter right now! Thank you all for sharing !
Hi guys,
im also really grateful to have come across this… i seem to be sort of. a younger pioneer doing the lightsmith work. Despite my young age…I’ve also been batteling some depression and resistance regarding ‘reaching out’ I sort of realized that and made a reach at talking to a counselor. But it’s still a little hard when they don’t have experience of this work. It was still nice to get an objective point of view. I sort of was able to realize, how much work I had taken on in transforming myself. I was following that lilttle unfoldment button like a beacon. Then it stopped working and being sparkly and I sort of got stuck and then turned on myself feeling very a lone in all of it and confused. But it’s just really great to have this community. I’m grateful for you guys, and your sharing your experiences :) Sometimes I forget that i’m only 20. -_____-. I was actually shocked to find out that, it truly has been my wisdom the whole time conducting all of this. still working with some trusting of that, issues. But recently! ( in the strangest places we find these) it was actually someone discussing ‘manifesting’ for some reason it was her words and the way she spoke, that helped me to relax a little deeper. that truly when we relax. that is when what we want happens. so, i guess i needed a little variety in finding that, place again. anyways. feeling more, relaxed :) ….back into the flow.. it was also really nice for me to be reminded… that….i dont need to know why my body is doing what its doing. there has been some over analyzation putting me majorily into trust hibernization. that even if my left leg hurts…or…my right leg….it doesnt mean, things….that..it might be just working through. so im working with not knowing……….again. just, not knowing. pattern over analyzation. 0.0 ugh! letting that go! how scary.